Google has made no secret of its desire to catalog, organize, and make accessible all of the world's information.  Likewise, the company has publicly stated on numerous occasions its goal of providing advertisers with a one-stop advertise-on-any-medium-anywhere-in-the-world program.  With all of the world's information at its fingertips, and all of the world's advertising being distributed based on that information, Google would be a pretty unstoppable force.  But those are lofty ambitions for any company and, some might say, a bit on the unobtainable side.

Nevertheless, that doesn't stop Google.  And according to a post by Donna Bogatin, Google has been taking steps to enter yet another arena:  outdoor advertising.  In fact, Bogatin pieces together quotes from company management and patent application information to illustrate a future in which radio and billboard advertising communicate to one another and target individual users based on location.  It sounds like something from a sci-fi movie.  But her deduction is pretty solid.

The problem is that Google continues to enter advertising markets, announce that entrance, and then stop.  We've heard about Audio Ads… Newspaper Ads… Television Ads overseas… but none of these products have officially launched in a wide scale fashion.  Like many of Google's other products, they may be destined to live in beta format for the foreseeable future.

But when is enough really enough?  At what point will people stand up and say that Google has gone too far?  And will the Google advertising machine ever stop?

Here are a few areas of advertising that I don't think Google has entered yet… but probably will with their new AdSense program:

• Google Airplane Ads:  Imagine laying on a blanket in the park… enjoying a picnic with your family… as a 747 flies overhead.  As you look up, you notice the bottom of the 747 says something:  "Keep those picnic leftovers fresh with Ziploc".  In a few years the system would be updated to a projection system.  A digital message appearing close to ground level under the plane would read:  "Make the drive home go by faster with KFOX 95.5 FM".  You know… like those clocks that project the time onto the wall.
• Google Airplane Banner Ads:  To secure their dominance of the aviation advertising market, Google will roll out digital banners that fly behind airplanes.  The banners would be made of a proprietary thin, flexible display material of some kind.  As the pilot flew over different parts of town, GPS satellites would determine the location and Google satellites would then beam relevant, targeted AdSense advertising to the banner.   "Follow me to refinance your home loan with a low, fixed rate."
• Google Bathroom Ads:  Look at all that wasted space in the stalls of public bathrooms!  Google could install screens into those walls and display advertisements while people sat on the toilet.  I mean, there's not much else to do in there.  Charmin, or a similar company, could even sponsor entire bathrooms.  "Don't you wish your toilet paper was this gentle?".  The ads could be targeted by sex, establishment, location, special event, etc.  Microphones installed in the stalls could even alert the system to "special circumstances"… "Too bad you didn't have Dramamine" or "Next time, bring the Immodium."
• Google Rooftop Ads:  It'd be pretty simple to lay screens together on rooftops to create big displays that could be seen by passengers on airplanes.  "Grab a chute and jump now to eat at Dennys".  The airplane advertising system mentioned earlier could transmit targeting information about the passengers to the rooftop system.  If a group of students were flying over the Grand Canyon, the airplane system could tell the rooftop system to display ads about student loans and textbooks.  At the same time, the rooftop system could tell the airplane system that there was a large group of European tourists in the area so that the bottom of the airplane would read "Get home cheaper with American Airlines".  See how it all works together?
• Google Human Ads:  Google is probably already working on this one.  They've probably realized that a long-lost staple of advertising could be reinvented for the new millennium.  You've seen people walking the streets with signs hanging on either side of their bodies?  Like that.  But in the Google version, a conductive varnish for the skin could be painted onto exposed areas, like the arms, forehead, etc.  GPS satellites would alert the Google satellites when you were walking past, say Taco Bell.  The people coming toward you would see a message roll across your forehead like "Run for the border"… or "A taco sounds good".  During the summer, and in warm climates, larger areas like the back could be used.  And short people could shave their heads to display ads on their scalps for tall people.  Wouldn't it be cool to pass a store on the street and see the words "You'd look hot in that dress at Barneys" move across a complete stranger's torso?

Ok.  So maybe I'm exaggerating a little.  But seriously.  Is there an end to Google's advertising ambitions?  And if not, are they anything more than ambition?  Will we ever see any of their legitimate products come to fruition?

I'm not waiting.  I'm running out to shave my head and buy a port-a-potty.  I want to take advantage of all that Google will be offering us in the future.